Monday March 19th 2012, was a huge day.  Monday was “viability day” for us.  I turned 24 weeks pregnant.  24 weeks is the generally agreed upon point when a baby is considered ‘viable’.  This means that should I go into labor the doctors will do everything to try to save the baby if they cannot stop labor.  22 weeks and younger a doctor will not try to resuscitate or save a baby born because the act of keeping it alive generally causes more harm to the baby and devastating disabilities.  23 weeks is a gray area and luck of the draw.  I feel like I have lived in a ‘grey area’ for the past 24 weeks.

Monday was a day I held my breath for.  It is one of the final ‘humps’ you want to get past as an infertile.  If the baby came now things would still be scary and the baby could still be in a lot of trouble, but to know that the medical community would do everything in their power to save the baby, is extremely freeing.

Monday was a day that in the back of my mind I didn’t think I’d ever see.  Not that I wasn’t hoping for the best, but I was also preparing for the worst.  I would catch myself every time I would go to say “when the baby comes” and instead say “when/if the baby comes” which is a sad thing to have to say.  As if to keep myself in check.  Even now a random kick from the baby, and it still jolts me, ‘oh my god, there’s a baby in there.‘  Or I’ll look down at something and my protruding belly catches me off guard, ‘I’m pregnant, I haven’t miscarried, that’s my belly with a baby in it.

This is the dark side of infertility, this is what infertility does to you, steals from you.  You’re ability to just ‘hope for the best’ and not worry too much about the rest.  I can’t do that anymore.

But on Monday, I got to let the feelings of excitement and exhilaration at being pregnant have a little more freedom in my psyche.  I’m trying more and more to embrace the joy of being pregnant.  I don’t want to hold my breath until the baby comes.  I realized just last night that in 13 weeks I will be considered full term.  That is SO crazy.    And so in spirit of embracing the excitement of this pregnancy, here are some joys I have had since being pregnant:

– We are waiting to be surprised to find out the sex of the baby, and so until then we call the baby “Spike” which is an inside joke we’ve had about naming our kids.

– Spike enjoys being sung to and I sing him a little song I made up and he always kicks me right when I finish singing it.  Either he/she is telling me I’m an awesome singer, or is complaining about my being pretty tone-deaf.

– Jacob has started reading ‘The Classic Tales of Winnie the Pooh’ to Spike and after each story Spike kicks the crap out of me and is crazy active.

– When we made our registry Jacob was going through items and told me we forgot to register for a bottle warmer.  I looked at him blankly for a minute, then pointed to my chest and said “it comes pre-warmed.”  (I figure the one or two times a day Jacob wants to feed the baby I’ll just pump into a bottle and we don’t need a fancy bottle warmer for those few feedings.)

– I absolutely don’t mind people touching my belly.  I thought I would, but I think it’s kinda cool, each time someone does it’s like another affirmation that there really is a baby in there.

– We recently went to Memphis and visited Graceland.  I came home with an Elvis Onsie.  Let the public embarrassment begin early!


12 responses to “Spike

  1. I’m so happy for both of you. The infertility process and then pregancy is awesome these days. Thirty years ago many, many procedures were not available. I’m happy to be made a part of this journey. God’s Blessings. Love ya both.

  2. I’m excited for you both. I’m glad to hear of another couple embracing the “gender as a surprise” choice. We have done this with our children and now have three beautiful girls. And choosing nicknames for each one in utero is always fun!

  3. Hi! thanks for stopping by my blog. all this makes perfect sense to me. so glad you’ve made it to viability!! so exciting!! i hope it is sinking in that you are going to have a baby!!


  4. Hey way to go, my prayers are always with you guys. where are you registered?

  5. Thanks for visiting my blog! Many congrats on reaching 24 weeks. Every day is a little accomplishment and that’s something to celebrate! I pray the next few weeks go smoothly and uneventfully for you and that Spike comes on time and healthily!

  6. Congrats on your healthy pregnancy and passing that 24 week mark- hooray!

  7. Here from ICLW- So happy to hear you’ve reached this WONDERFUL milestone!! That is fantastic!

    Spike is a wonderful nickname- it was my grandma’s! haha, she’s was an old bowling pro & that’s what they called her- I love it!

    Look forward to following your story!

    Sara- ICLW#118

  8. I am so happy to see you getting to the other side!

  9. Congrats on reaching 24 weeks! A huge milestone!

  10. Congrats on the milestone! So unfair about what IF takes from us…but so glad you made it through!

  11. Congratulations on 24 weeks, and happy, happy ICLW!

    Lol at your comment about breastfeeding. 🙂 Sorry to hear your Spike is kicking the heck out of you, but it’s awesome. 🙂

    Best wishes to you on the rest of your journey,


  12. Yay for 24 weeks! I don’t think I let out my breath until she was a day or two old. I was scared the entire time. IF definitely robbed me of thoroughly enjoying and relaxing during my pregnancy.

    And, I didn’t mind people touching my belly either. I thought it was amazing that there was a baby in there and totally understood why other people were fascinated as well!

    ICLW #47

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s