Pay Back, part two


My last post talked about some interesting ‘nuances’ I had as a child and that perhaps karma was reflecting this back on me now as a foster parent. (Catch up here.)

Well the other day I had to take the foster baby for a regular check up. The nurse comes in and does the standard height, weight, etc. Then they also do the standard thing where they tell you what seems to be the most OBVIOUS stuff about caring for a baby. Like no TV for infants, don’t leave them unattended on a changing table, always put them in a car seat, don’t let them eat arsenic, don’t let them drink all your booze, etc. And I’m nodding along, because I’ve heard this 317 times, and this is all, to me, clearly obvious information. ‘What, I shouldn’t leave my baby in a bath tub alone while I smoke a ciggy? CRAZY!’

And the nurse finally looks at the chart and says “Oh, you’re foster mom, ok, we’re good.” But again, they are required to tell everyone this information, which means for some parents this is NEW information. ‘I shouldn’t blow cigarette smoke in my infant’s face, what?’

Then the nurse ask me if I have any concerns. I mention that by this age most infants are cooing and saying stuff like “ah-goo” and that our infant is not. I’m not worried because as of yet it was not yet in the range that would be categorized as ‘delayed development’, but I wanted it noted on the chart just in case. The nurse notes it, and goes to get the doctor.

The doctor comes in a few minutes later and says “So the baby isn’t saying ah-goo?”

“No,” I say, “no ah-goo.”

At that precise instant the infant turns her face to me, wrinkles her eyebrows, then turns toward the doctor and says with perfect diction “Ah-goo!”

The doctor looks at me like I am a FLIPPIN MORON. The baby turns to me and smiles as if to say ‘take that!’

Since that day the baby has been a regular chatty-freakin-cathy. It’s great. I just didn’t think the whole ‘my kids publicly embarrass me’ thing would start in the infant stage.

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2 responses to “Pay Back, part two

  1. Take it easy on our friends in the medical world – remember their customer base. They’re not accustomed to dealing with people of resplendent intellect that also possess any common sense.

  2. Thanks for the laugh… that’s a good story. Write it down.

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