Live from my half-bath!


Not really “live” because it is so small I couldn’t fit my laptop in there given the other company that was also in there with me.  Namely my husband and a surly 9 month old.  Though I don’t blame her being surly at that point.  We had woken her from her crib and taken her covered in a blanket downstairs. 
 

Tornadoes.  Indiana.  Sigh.

I just don’t think I will ever get used to it. 

Our fist year here Jacob was out teaching a class and I was home alone when the tornado sirens went off.  (Yes, we have TORNADO SIRENS, because there is a HIGH frequency of GIANT CYCLONES trying to KILL you, and you need sirens to warn you that you are about to DIE.)  I frantically called him not sure what to do.  He didn’t answer the phone.  We had no basement in the house we rented so I couldn’t go there.  I ended up in the utility closet.  Which gave me no sense of peace.  Yeah, lets take cover in a closet that contains a GAS furnace so that when the tornado does hit you, the furnace will probably explode and your little bits will be swept up in the cyclone.  Cremation and spreading your ashes all in one!

Now the husband, being born and bred in Indiana, is very cavalier about tornadoes and storms.  He FLAGRANTLY ignores sirens and scoffs at weather radar that looks like this:

And yes I know it is an oxymoron to say he “flagrantly ignores”, but he does it, I swear.  So two nights ago when the sirens went off and he looked out the window and said “Bathroom, now.”  I pretty much knew it was bad.  Apparently green and red lightning is a pretty good omen that something bad is headed your way. 

 Our new house has no interior rooms other than the half-bath, and no basement.  Let me draw you a mental picture: 

Our half bath is 42 inches wide by 88 inches long.  For those in the metric system, sorry, I have no idea.  But of course, there is a toilet in there as well as a vanity which takes up space.  So it’s around 9pm, the baby is asleep and I go in and grab her, put a blanket over her head and wiggle myself on the floor of the bath between the toilet and wall.  Jacob sits in front of the toilet.  The baby however has no intention of sitting this one out and lets us know just how annoyed she is with us. 

Here’s a lovely pic of our half bath:

I was crammed in to the left of the toilet. If ever there was a good reason to eat right and stay slender, this is it.

I’m 5’7″, the hubby is 6’4″.  We are not small people.  It is cramped to say the least and lets not forget the surly 9 month old plastered to my chest declaring her unhappiness.  Jacob turns to me and says “I am so uncomfortable.”  Had the child not been in my arms I might have launched myself at him.  Instead I gave him the look and said “Seriously?  You’re uncomfortable?!” 

We lived.  But literally less than a mile away a tornado touched down and decimated the area.  Which further confirms my belief that Tornadoes are God’s way of saying “Don’t live here, why don’t you try the beach, I hear it’s nice.”  And don’t be all ‘The coasts have HURRICANES’ on me because with hurricanes you have DAYS of notice, not MINUTES like with tornadoes. 

And apparently we are just at the start of tornado season.  Joy.

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3 responses to “Live from my half-bath!

  1. AHH THE GREAT NORTHEAST COLD, SNOW BUT NO ——ECT MAYBE A TORNADO EVERY 10 YEARS, NO HURRICANES LATELY
    and while I’m writing lost 4lbs during lent so far

  2. In UPSTATE NY where you should move to it is very rare for tornadoes to touch down! Try telling your husband how beautiful it is here! 🙂

  3. Arizona is nice.

    No beach, but practically no natural disasters.

    I’m glad you guys are okay – scary though!

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