Blogging furiously while intentionally dirtying ever dish I own


Because I can.  I have internet, I have dishwasher, hear me ROAR!

Actually hear me whimper and then moan a bit pathetically and lie around.  I am tired and sick.  Moving, baby, illness, husband surgery.  I am done.  And sick again, third time on antibiotics in two months.  Of course I had it coming to me.  At the end of February I BOASTED in church, ie, in front of GOD, that I hadn’t gotten sick all winter.   Silly silly me. 

Now, I know what you are thinking.  You’re thinking this isn’t divine retribution this is the fact that I have been going non-stop with packing up our old house, painting the new one, and then moving while wrangling a rabid baby (hope you have your shots, she bites!) and carrying for a husband who had surgery.  No, sorry, you’re wrong, because that would mean I’d have to admit that I need to stop running myself into the ground.  So I’m gonna go with ‘divine retribution’ instead. 

We have been slowly unpacking, and by that I mean Jacob is unpacking and then I am rearranging what he unpacks to where I want it.  I have had no inclination to unpack.  Jacob asked me the other day “doesn’t it bother you to not have things unpacked and settled?”

No, it does not bother me.  You know why?  BECAUSE I PAINTED A HOUSE.  I painted a 2000 square foot house that had crayon and marker all over the walls and needed tons of spackling and other repair.  From here on out this will be my battle cry/excuse to get out of not doing things:  “I painted a HOUSE!”  I am done.  Until of course I go through childbirth (someday hopefully) and then my cry will be “I pushed a MELON out of my ‘who-ha’!”  That I believe will get me out of everything, anytime I want, until said ‘melon’ turns 21. 

Now let’s get to the best part.  My NEW dishwasher!  We rented for the past year in an old house with no dishwasher.  Let me repeat, preemie foster infant, no dishwasher, an entire year.  Prior to that we had one in another rental that was really good at coating our dishes in white film and sort of cleaning them.  Prior to that we rented a house with no dishwasher.  That house was on the BEACH in MA though, so I didn’t give a crap. 

In our new house, there was a space for a dishwasher, but no dishwasher.  It was a foreclosure and they left all the appliances except the dishwasher.  But that was ok because Jacob and I had a deal.  In this whole house hunting business I told him ultimately I didn’t care what house we bought, as long as I could buy the dishwasher I wanted, regardless of price, and have it installed.  Even if the house had a dishwasher already, I wanted to buy the mac-daddy of all dishwashers and replace it. 

So I researched all the dishwashers I could and picked out the BEST one, in my opinion, and we ordered it.  Great.  All set.  Right?  NO.  We ordered it on a Sunday and it was supposed to be delivered on Tuesday.  Monday I get a call. 

“Yeah, so you won’t believe this, but the truck with your dishwasher was on, flipped on the highway.”

Seriously?  I mean come on, seriously?  The truck didn’t crash, it wasn’t just late in arriving, it FLIPPED, on the highway, with my dishwasher in it.  (Yes the driver was ok, I did ask that.)  OF COURSE my dishwasher is on the truck that FLIPPED.  The clerk on the phone told me he’d been working for this company for 6 years and this had never happened.  Of course not, because I had not ordered from this company until then. 

But the clerk assured me he had re-ordered the dishwasher and it was on the next truck and would be here Friday. 

Nope.

He ordered it, but that truck was already full when he ordered it, so no room for my dishwasher.  I found this all out Friday morning when I called to ask where my dishwasher was, as it was supposed to have been delivered Friday morn.  I was a bit annoyed to say the least.  They had known, since Tuesday, that my dishwasher, the second one, wasn’t going to be here by Friday.  But no one thought maybe they should call me? 

I called Jacob, furious about the fact that they didn’t call to tell us about the SECOND dishwasher not arriving on time.  Jacob was all pastoral of course, and said “just calm down.” 

Calm down?  Have you met ME?  I don’t do calm ANYTHING!  Hello CAPS LOCK KEY! That is why our relationship works, I am passion and eagerness and intense.  And Jacob is practical and calm, and logical.  Now I did not vent my fury at anyone but Jacob.  I’m not a crazed baboon.  But I am a person who needs to vent.  And then I calmed down and politely called the store back. 

“Ok, I understand you had no control over my dishwasher being so delayed.  But I need a dishwasher, I just moved, I’ve been without one for a year, I painted a HOUSE, and I just need a dishwasher.”

We had one the next day.  They gave us the floor model one.  I’ve had it four days and have seriously run it like 8 times.  Because I can.

Oh internet and dishwasher, how I love thee.

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2 responses to “Blogging furiously while intentionally dirtying ever dish I own

  1. Only use ours a couple times a year.

  2. Pingback: Of lawnmowers and lotion | Metholic's Blog

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