Names have been removed to protect those recovering from porcine product engorgement.
Scene: 3pm Christmas day
Person A: “Hey, we didn’t eat lunch today.”
Person B: “That’s probably because we ate 4,000 calories worth of bacon for breakfast.”
Person A: “You say that likes it’s a bad thing…”
Person B: “sigh…”
I hope your holidays were wonderful and may your New Year be bacon-tastic (or if you’re vegetarian, ‘refined-soy-product-tastic’).